‘One thing is certain – the degree to which you, as a wife, take the leadership in your home is the degree to which your husband will never step up and assume his God-given responsibility to lead.’ ~ Matt Jacobson Have you ever heard a woman complain about how her husband does not offer spiritual…
Category: Relationships
Parenting Marriage – What To Do When It Is Loveless
A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers ~ Ruth Graham I received the message below from one of my readers. “My dear friend, while I would like to bring my marriage to God, I no longer feel I have a marriage to bring at all. My husband and I do not talk,…
Dear Husband, I am Not Nagging
My husband calls it nagging, I call it motivational speaking – Unknown To all dear husbands, here is a heartfelt address to you. Help your wives understand what nagging looks like to you. Hear their perspective on what is not nagging. We wonder whether we are all mistaken about what nagging means. Do we annoy…
Married Singles, the End
” I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone. – Robin Williams In my last article, I raised the issues facing couples when they drift apart due to different…
MARRIED SINGLES
“An archeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets, the more interested he is in her.”—Agatha Christie Do you ever find yourself feeling alone even though you are with your spouse? Do you ever think that your spouse has placed other people or their job/business first over you? Do you…
Should I Disclose My Earnings to my Spouse?
‘Don’t fight about money because after you have said mean things to each other, the amount of money in the bank will be the same.’ ~ Anonymous Financial disagreements are among the leading cause of fights in marriages today. Many couples argue largely on the use of money. It is no wonder many pre-marital classes…
Blended? How To Make It Work
Some families are created in different ways. But are still in every way a family. Unknown I had a conversation with some friends the other day that triggered my writing of this article. The discussion was around how to make blended families work. Blended families are becoming quite common in our society. But what are…
How about You Have Fun In Your Marriage
“Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.” — Henny Youngman, English-American comedian and musician Seize life! Eat bread with gusto. Drink wine with a robust heart. Oh yes…
Caring for Ageing Parents
‘To care for those who cared for us is one of the highest honors.’ Tia Walker I have the privilege of having both my parents and my husband’s parents around. This is an honor that I do not take for granted, knowing very well that there are those that do not have one or any…
Monogamy? What’s the Point?
I think infidelity is difficult, monogamy is difficult, and marriage is difficult – Maura Tierney ‘And the two shall become one…let no one put asunder.’ These are famous words by our Lord. They are serious words not to be taken lightly before, at the point of, and after exchanging vows. Infidelity is among the top…
Rethinking Bridal Showers
We need to rethink bridal showers. Kindly hear my considered view. I have attended a couple of showers in my short life. Some have been good with great advice coming from those who have gone ahead while others, let us just say they are the reason I am penning this down. What is a bridal…
Excess Baggage
Many of us do not realize just how much our past affects our current and future relationships. Please check your excess baggage.
#LetsGetTalking
Lean on Me
Sometimes in our lives We all have pain We all have sorrow But, if we are wise We know that there’s always tomorrow Lean on me when you’re not strong I’ll be your friend I’ll help you carry on For it won’t be long I’m gonna need Somebody to lean on ~ Michael Bolton Have…
Fair Game
‘Many marriages would be better if the husband and the wife clearly understood that they are on the same side.’ ~ Zig Ziglar Conflict is a minefield in the piece of land called relationship, very much part of life yet so badly handled by many. Those in love want to know how to resolve it…
Rejection
Rejection doesn’t mean you’re not good enough; it means the other person has failed to notice what you have to offer. ~ Mark Amend Ever felt alone, felt unwanted or unappreciated? Ever been rejected by someone, whether directly or indirectly? Ever experienced those feelings of anguish, of bitterness, betrayal and, sometimes, rage? I bet you…
Situation Room
“The handling of finances is one of the major emotional battlegrounds of any marriage. Lack of finances is seldom the issue. The root problem seems to be an unrealistic and immature view of money – David Augsburger In my previous post Un-Stable, we looked at financial (in)stability and its impact on relationships. Of importance is coming…
Un-Stable
I want a financially stable guy. How many times have you said that? How many girls have you heard say that? Is it wrong to have such a desire? After all, it’s your dream. And to quote Lupita Nyong’o, your dreams are valid. Financial stability is and has been a key consideration for many when…
Mid-Life: Crisis Mode
My heart took delight in all my labor, and this was the reward for all my toil. Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun -Ecclesiastes 2:10–11 Very profound, those two verses. ‘I worked…
Musings of a Woman
The setting was perfect. The excitement was genuine. A cuppa at Java coffee with a friend I had not seen in ages. In the end, I felt angry, I felt helpless. I cried. Here she was, a young lady, going through so much torment in her short life. And there I was, listening and asking…
I Can Do Bad By Myself
Most people cheat because they are focusing on what they’re missing rather than on what they have – Unknown Ah, remember last week? That never-ending age-old topic on whether men are capable of loving only one woman? Well, interesting feedback I received from both great sides of the divide. Women fear that unknown; is he…
Love One Woman? Impossible
It is not monogamy when there is one legal wife, and mistresses out of sight – Annie Besant I was listening to radio the other day. I don’t know why I got stuck to listening to this particular station. I usually don’t pay much attention to what’s aired on it due to its controversies. But…
Transparency Quagmire
This article was triggered by a conversation with a friend who shared with me a rather sad story. There’s a couple out there who’ve been married for around two years. They literally have not had sex since they got married. Why? The man discovered that his wife had undergone female genital mutilation but had never disclosed…
Frustrated Sexually
It is good for a man not to marry. But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. … I wish that all men were as I…
The Love Casket
“Human life is made in God’s image, and that makes it sacred.” Colins S. Smith. I am not okay. It keeps hitting me like a thunderbolt, this much evil going on in our land. And it borders the absurd. The levels we are now reaching have made a mockery of our humanity, and we are…
Single Parents & Dating
I’m sitting at a lobby of a hotel in Nairobi, Kenya, waiting for an important person that I recently connected with. Then, I remember, my friend had asked me about a question. Single parent. Dating. They have a lot to consider before getting into relationships, single parents. The playing field isn’t level for them. The…
I Am Alone
I would like to dedicate this article to you, you who has tried to do your best to make your marriage work but either, it is not working, or you have already gone separate ways with your spouse. I recently wrote on the issue of being part of a group that you can walk with…
Emotional Infidelity
It happened subtly. You can’t explain how it began. Casually. A simple compliment. A smile. A stare. A second look. And another. Before you knew it, thoughts were lingering. A desire to see him. A need to talk to her. You enjoyed. The talks. Easy. Longer talks. You talked about everything and anything. Then, a…
Never Walk Alone
When you walk through a storm, Hold your head up high, And don’t be afraid of the dark. At the end of a storm, There’s a golden sky, And the sweet silver song of a lark, Walk on through the wind, Walk on through the rain. Though your dreams be tossed and blown, Walk on,…
I Do, Over and Again
Munene Gangi He spun around, his head in his hands. His expression echoed disbelief. How did this happen, he seemed to wordlessly implore. This was after infidelity had wrecked his marriage. This was after abuse had crippled his relationship. This was after economic hardships and financial disloyalty had sabotaged a life long journey. His patience…
The Sub-Mission
It was a bridal shower for a friend, the first I had attended in my life. Clearly, I had no idea what these showers were all about. The ladies in attendance were looking like a million bob each, never mind back then showers were not color coordinated and a theme to boot. Many of us were…
A Few Good Men
“Both men and women today see marriage not as a way of creating character and community but as a way to reach personal life goals. They are looking for a marriage partner who will ‘fulfill their emotional, sexual, and spiritual desires.’ And that creates an extreme idealism that in turn leads to a deep pessimism…
Water Runs Dry
We don’t even talk anymore And we don’t even know what we argue about. Don’t even say I love you no more ‘Cause saying how we feel is no longer allowed. Some people will work things out And some just don’t know how to change Let’s not wait till the water runs dry. We might…
May ‘e’ date you?
The dating world makes me feel incredibly vulnerable. You put yourself out there earnestly as available only to encounter some of the most disingenuous people. There seems to be no formula. Just a boat load of anxiety. – Alafia Stewart We live in the digital era. That’s right. It’s like a new world. Cars, books,…
Un-break my heart
“When love is lost, do not bow your head in sadness; instead keep your head up high and gaze into heaven for that is where your broken heart has been sent to heal.” – Author Unknown We have all experienced this before, a feeling of great sadness, feeling of disappointment. A feeling that seems like it…
Till Money Do Us Part?
Money, makes the world go round. It has become the answer to almost everything. Proverbs 10.15 states, “The wealth of the rich is their fortified city, the poverty of the poor is their ruins.” Money opens doors for opportunities, both good and bad. It is the medium we use to access our needs. I would…
Forever Yours?
In the recent weeks, our country has been fed with on-goings of a murder case, that of a deceased young woman. The investigations of the case, of which I will not talk much about, are still in progress, with the suspects being an engaged couple that are known in the society. With the intriguing events…
Expectations
Manage your expectations. A crucial statement that has always left me wondering, especially where relationships are concerned. After all, don’t we all have some things that need to be met? Isn’t this, I believe, the reason we choose the people we want to be with, because we know they can meet these things? Picture this….
Keeping it real? It ain’t real no more
Bring back those simple times of yesterday When a man was a man And a friend was a friend Bring back those simple times of yesterday When you said what you meant And you meant what you said. I grew up listening to this song, Simple Days, in the 90s. Back then, Kenneth Brian Edmonds,…
A Thorny Flight to Rose County
Munene Gangi The camera lingers for a moment, capturing you and your lovebird ecstatic at being the globe’s newest couple. The glorious occasion, sealed with a kiss, is the perfect send off to your field of dreams in the uncharted world of marriage. Joy, excitement, intimacy and adventure consume you as you resonate with Michael…
The Elephant in the Room
Why do some of us do it? Why do we just find it so irresistible? What are we so curious to know? In a conversation I had with a couple of my colleagues, the men wondered why women like snooping through their husbands or boyfriends’ phones. Why, they asked, is it hard not to go…
Let No One put Asunder
‘I, ____, take you, ____, to be my lawfully wedded (husband/wife), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.’ Powerful, powerful words aren’t they. They that always make me wonder if many of those exchanging these…
Color Me Perfect
Munene Gangi If Adam and Eve were to take theater seats and watch the movie we call ‘Relationship’, they would certainly be engulfed in fits of hysterical laughter. Not since the infamous days of the forbidden apple has the term ‘perfection’ looked to have lost its meaning, as modern day human beings seek to make…
Romeo, Wherefore Art Thou, Romeo?
Ah, that famous Shakespeare’s balcony scene that has Juliet beckoning Romeo, “O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?’ I don’t think Juliet Capulet’s question related to ‘where’ Romeo Montague could have been as opposed to ‘why’ Romeo had to be a Montague, a member of a rival gang. The story does paint a backdrop, though, of…
Why would I get Married?
Ask randomly and you will be told that marriage is similar to jumping from the frying pan into a blazing furnace. Meet anyone in the streets and on their foreheads will be the words ‘Be afraid. Be very afraid’. Listen to your best friend utter the words ‘marriage is like a room with no exit door’ and you’ll…
Rosy Sparks
Don’t want to live this life without you, Defeats the purpose of what we’ve been through, I’ve got to hold on and trust that you will too, Coz life will be meaningless if you’re not there boo! I remember the day I saw you and you saw me, And you came up to me and…
Gumzki 