Weighty Matters

Weighting to Exhale, remember the article? I’ve talked about my journey towards weight loss before. I am a plus-size girl and have been since birth. You know those kids who are placed on the weighing scale during a regular clinic visit and there’s that, ‘…um’? You know, when the nurse starts giving nutritional advice to the poor young mother?

Nutritional advice, foods to eliminate from the diet. What foods, what diet? The baby is just five months old! The only thing she knows is milk, exclusively breastfed milk! Poor child. Yes, that was me.

The struggles of being on the bigger side are quite real. The pain, the agony, of desiring to be smaller due to lots of pressure all around (including internal), body shaming, struggling with movement, heavy breathing, health complications, and much, much more.

These struggles have made me often feel like donating some of my fat to my small friends who struggle to add weight – clearly, the struggle is real even across the divide, just imagine with me. And even with the latest technology around, fat transplant is still not possible, forget the cost.

2017, the year I hit the highest numbers on the scale. The mirror didn’t lie. I could tell that things were not fine. But I was afraid, too afraid to weigh myself. These are the times you just gather yourself and stare into you, being true to your being, “You can do this, it’s important to weigh yourself.” Why? I wasn’t happy. My knees ached, I struggled with them stairs. I just had to do it.

That was one of my worst years emotionally. And these emotions led to low self-esteem moments and unhappiness. Something needed to change. Whatever it was, it had to change. I needed to take steps towards my happiness for myself first, and then for my family’s sake. It was a pain, having a disgruntled woman in the house. Hubby, just look away.

Sam Muregz. This is my friend. Such an incredible dancer. I reached out to him for help, with dancing. I love dancing. He was willing to teach me some moves that would help me towards my fitness and weight loss. And he did. My son was one year old then, therefore my dance lessons happened in the comfort of my home. He, my son that is, loved watching his mother move up and down. Oh forget what was moving, he simply loved it.

In the last two years, I have lost 14kgs, an uphill task for me, mind you. I still have a long way to go to achieve my optimal weight. There have been fluctuations on the weight-o-meter, some good days and some really bad ones. Some times my workouts and meals have been on point, on other days…well…

Anzaya Akatsa and Mbithe Anzaya in their book Zindua say something that I found profound and motivational for me to take my health seriously. “We owe it to ourselves, to our loved ones, and to God, to work on having the best health possible. If you don’t take care of your health, you diminish the quality of your life in later years. You burden your spouse and children prematurely and perhaps excessively.”

I do not want to become a burden to my family.

One of my delights during this quarantine season has been working out with my children. My husband is something else. We are too slow for him, he is fit. There’s no need to take a jog with Paul Tergat, no need to pick a fight with Mike Tyson. Like seriously, there’s simply no need. Let my husband do his big stuff.

I desire, nay, I am determined to not put on weight during this pandemic period. I am intent on not complicating my life further. I have seen all the jokes trending on weight increases, ‘the refrigerators and food shelves have become too easy to access.’ This is a serious matter for me, what with my daughter indulging in culinary skills and making sumptuous meals that would, ultimately, find their ways straight to my hips?

That said, I have enjoyed, and I am enjoying, my journey this far. It may come with a lot of sacrifices. Heck, there is more to this journey.

Recently, I read something in my devotion by Lysa Terkeurst; ‘Being overweight is an outside indication that internal changes are needed for my body to function properly and for me to feel well.’ 

See, it’s so easy for those with weight issues to turn to foods or not care much about looking after their bodies, due to the problems they could be facing. Perfect excuse. And this becomes a defense mechanism towards protecting themselves. I had to admit this is a problem, and changes seriously needed to occur.

This study has also shown me that I may choose to quit the health struggle and pretend that it doesn’t matter spiritually. But it does, and it affects my mindset. And that is crucial for me to win this weight battle. Whenever I am tempted to backslide due to the issues I am facing, I ought to remind myself that I was made for more. And I was surely made for more.

Picture this.

No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” 1 Corinthians 10:13

Weight matters are quite sensitive, and I am passionate about body shaming not happening. I have two rules for those who love making fun of big people:

One. Never make bad jokes about a fat person. You may call them that; fat, chunky, obese, full, plus size, whichever name you choose. Unless you know them and they really know you, and you have them in your heart, those jokes will be insults. Don’t hurl at them.  They hurt.

Two. Only a fat person can make fun of another fat person. I have two close friends of mine who are big. You should hear each of them calling the other fat. You should see their photos, but privacy rules dictate.

These two, they crack me up. Like me, their weight has been on the upward trajectory, but for them it could be a sign of wealth, you know. They do make efforts to lose weight, even though, I think (ha!) their weight moves faster than their efforts. I can say that because I have my own weight struggles as well, and they know. We have similar struggles, and we can also call each other out. It’s part of life.

If you have not struggled with weight matters, be grateful. But if you have, it’s not the end of the road, not all grass is greener on the other side, remind yourself. You are beautifully and wonderfully made, no matter what anyone says or jokes about that.

To my accountability partners, you have been incredible. Thank you for walking this journey with me. Perhaps another 14kgs post-pandemic? No? Too soon? I still look good?

“Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well.” 3 John 1:2

Photo courtesy of Pexels

20 Comments Add yours

  1. Jacinta says:

    Good lesson. My son is in the same boat since he was 3 months. Thanks for the article. I am going to protect him from anybody who called him kafati meaning fat and giving poor 14yr old advice on how to loose weight

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Kigumz says:

    Thanks Jacinta. I am truly happy when parents seek to protect their children positively. Working on one’s self-worth is key.


  3. Kenn says:

    Kigumz, such an authentic and honest piece. Congratulations!! Keep up. I’m also down with the workouts. Keep encouraging others.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Kigumz says:

    Thank you Kenn. All the best


  5. Big Daive says:

    I am very encouraged and to those who body sham, God is the judge.
    Congratulations on the 14kg weight loss. The piece is authentic and incredibly honest. Thanks for being a voice to those who are affiliated with such.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Kigumz says:

    Thank you Big Daive


  7. Ann Kayeli says:

    Hi Emily,
    I’m so touched by your courage and honesty, thank you for sharing your journey.
    Keep on. It is possible. Stay safe.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Kigumz says:

    Thank you Ann. And thanks for the encouragement


  9. Debbs says:

    Waoh!!! This is such an honest piece.
    Thank you for allowing us into your world and giving us food for thought.
    I personally admire your moves when you lead worship.
    Keep at it. Good job

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Kigumz says:

    Thank you Debbs. Your words are kind


  11. Susan Wambui Kigume says:

    What a courageous girl you are. I am proud of you Emily and always have been. Thank you for sharing your journey. Don’t quit. Keep it up.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Kigumz says:

    Thank you so much dear Mother for your love and encouragement always. Love you


  13. Amos says:

    Emily, I like honest people and here you are, not only at matters work but also with yourself. Yes, a lot of us make jokes about plus size people without caring about their feelings. Since I met you at work almost 4years ago, I have always seen a great and authentic leader in you. I have never thought or put focus on your size and can only encourage you to keep on fighting as whatever a man/woman asks of God and believes, God provides. Keep fighting my sister.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Kigumz says:

    Thank you Amos for those kind words.


  15. Awesome read Emily!

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Kigumz says:

    Thank you Cynthia


  17. Larry Liza says:

    Weight matters are sure weighty matters. And the answer to your last question is a FAT YEEEEES! Keep on keeping, dear.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Kigumz says:

    Thank you Larry


  19. njeri mwangi says:

    Thank you Kigumz for this honest piece. I’ve seen you enjoying your size and never thought it would even affect your mindset. Being on the opposite side of the divide I’m challenged to stop taking things for granted. Covid season has actually assisted me. For a long while i keep asking myself when we’ll skate again with your daughter…ive been postponing engaging other plus size young girls in my hood but this piece has given me more reason to do it. Trying out a chart and telling myself that “something everyday is better than nothing” Thank you and let’s keep trying, everyday.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Kigumz says:

    Thank you Njeri. Please start helping those young girls.


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