Ah, that famous Shakespeare’s balcony scene that has Juliet beckoning Romeo, “O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?’ I don’t think Juliet Capulet’s question related to ‘where’ Romeo Montague could have been as opposed to ‘why’ Romeo had to be a Montague, a member of a rival gang.

The story does paint a backdrop, though, of a single lady out there wondering, Romeo, wherefore art thou my Romeo? Where are you good men? Why are you taking your time? Why are others not sure where to find us, the lovely ladies? Why are you watching from afar wondering why the list of qualities you need to meet is quite unattainable? Wherefore art thou, my sweetheart? Why am I waiting forever and a day?

It reminds me of a dear friend. Now this one, her list of qualities her kind of man should have has significantly shrunk as she’s grown older. In fact, only one qualification now matters; he must be breathing! Imagine! I should sue her for cracking my ribs with laughter! However, it really got me thinking, I really do hope she doesn’t lower her standards so as to find her Romeo, who could be anyone from Omondi to Kariuki, or even Hempstone! The girl is definitely intelligent, beautiful, loving and God-fearing. Why are these men so blind?

I do understand the struggle, having been on the other side. I married ‘later in life’. I was given all manner of reasons as to why I couldn’t be found by my ‘Romeo’. You are doing well in your career. If only they saw my payslip! You shouldn’t have bought that car, it will keep the men away! But why now? I had walked on foot for a number of years and the men hadn’t approached me!

You are too choosy. Oh dear! You need to place yourself strategically so as to be seen. Should I have sat somewhere say a restaurant or where men gathered? Oh, wait! I did place myself somewhere! I sing at my local church and had done so for a number of years, and yet, with such a strategic platform, the pursuit of happiness hadn’t been forthcoming. Who has answers that have worked? Who? Anyone?

Today’s modern girl faces many challenges in getting hooked up. She has been empowered to conquer the world, this man’s world. This girl can do almost anything a man can and still remain feminine. Could this be a reason Romeo is nowhere to be found? Or could it be that the right guy has just not yet come their way?

Our society does give singles a lot of pressure to get married. It’s true, marriage is a good thing. However, if it’s not entered into due to love and desire for companionship, if it’s not entered into because a man and a woman are in a voluntary relationship for keeps, it could end up being chaotic. We’ve seen that laid out, brazenly. It shouldn’t be forced or arise as a result of pressure.

Not that I recuse myself from guilt. I admit. I had both internal and external pressure to get married. The problem was I ended up looking for love in the wrong places to fill that desire. I was left empty, and when I look around, I see how society frowns upon singles, especially women of a certain age. As a result, some have opted to seek ways of managing their biological clocks, where no strings are attached, while others are busy working towards being wife material for all the wrong reasons.

I agree, there are ladies out there who don’t want to be sought out by a Romeo. That is totally fine. And then, there are others who know what they want and will not settle for less. And that should be acceptable, no?

To the single lady praying for Mr. Romeo, please love yourself first. Live life with a big spoon. Do not consider your single status as a curse. Do the things you love doing! Do not be consumed by the search that you forget yourself in the process.

And to the married, we don’t have to remind our single friends of their singlehood status every time we see them or give them our intelligent ‘reasons’ why they are still single. They should be allowed to be.

Romeo, wherefore art thou my Romeo? I don’t have the answer but I pray that one day, your Romeo may be found.